#30 - The Dynamics of Marriage During a Pandemic | Clinical Psychologist Dr. Lavelle

#30 - The Dynamics of Marriage During a Pandemic | Clinical Psychologist Dr. Lavelle

Welcome to “The Elements of Being” podcast, where I dissect and explore the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, we examine the mental and emotional narratives and processes that steer the social stream of consciousness….Truly a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. Each episode is a glimpse into the trends and patterns of human behavior and the underlying influences that navigate us into different directions. Whether we primarily focus on nutrition or the unconscious, guests share insights, thought-provoking lessons, the nuances of creativity, and the elements of being….us.

Today, I’d like to introduce the very talented, Dr. Sera Lavelle, owner of NY Health Hypnosis & Integrative Therapy and co-founder of the soon-to-be-launched mindful eating app, Bea Better Eating. It’s practically a sin that we didn’t discuss her current project in great detail (especially with my interest in our relationship to food and the psychology of our eating behaviors). Instead, we took a deep dive into the role of hypnosis in the clinical setting and the intriguing dynamics of marriages and conflict resolution. A fitting topic as everyone reflects on their relationships during the last 12 months of the pandemic.

Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Lavelle, is an expert in using hypnosis and integrative therapy for weight loss, eating disorders, anxiety, depression, infertility, and relationship issues. She also served as an Adjunct Professor at Brooklyn College and Adelphi University where she taught Psychology of Sex and Gender

The Elements of Being Podcast with Michael Moody featuring Dr. Sera Lavelle

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and Psychology from a Multi-Cultural Perspective. Dr. Lavelle’s work with eating disorders has been highly recognized, with articles about her and her team appearing in Forbes, Prevention, Elle Magazine, NY Times, and NY Magazine.

In our interview, we discussed hypnosis and the broader implications for one's inability to reach a hypnotic state as well as its integrative role in the restoration of a failing marriage. We also dissect the fair expectations in the marriage dynamic, maladaptive patterns that lead to the most conflict and sustained tension, the idea of “settling down,” and the new relationship challenges experienced during the shelter-in periods of the pandemic.

To learn more about Dr. Lavelle, visit https://www.nyhealthhypnosis.com/dr-sera-lavelle. Check out her latest project, Bea Better Eating, on https://www.beabettereating.com/, as well.

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Listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or on your favorite podcast platform!

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Bridal Bootcamp Exercise Program: Legs/Shoulders/Core (30-40 Minutes)

BRIDAL BOOTCAMP EXERCISE PROGRAM: Legs/Shoulders/Core (30-40 Minutes)

Time to be your own personal trainer in LoHi! You still need to exercise outside of your personal training sessions, right??? Perform the exercises in this order. Note the descriptions next to each exercise (e.g., position of the bench or cables) and perform 12-15 reps for every exercise. Also, perform 12-15 reps on each arm if you’re performing a single arm exercise. Don’t forget to answer the questions in the “Assessment Section” after your workout. Let’s get you ready for your wedding ceremony in Denver, Colorado!

Superset 1

1st: Stationary squat with arms raised in a V shape
2nd: Plank with your feet on a bench (30 seconds)
3rd: Cable chopper with a step (same side)

60-second break

4th: Squat with alternating lateral step and dumbbell hammer
5th: Alternating straight arm raise to the ceiling from the pushup position (30 seconds)
6th: Mountain climbers (30 seconds)

60-second break

7th: Squat from a seat with your hands behind your head (don’t round your back)
8th: Dumbbell shoulder press
9th: 60-second jump rope, Stairmaster, or bike

60-second break

10th: Single leg squat while holding a bar (keep your torso squared)
11th: Prone shoulder raise on a bench
12th: Mountain climbers with a twist (30 seconds)

60-second break

Stretch your body to new boundaries before your wedding ceremony in Denver! / Photo: Dinielle De Veyra

Superset 2

1st: Walking lunge with straight arm rotation (rotate arms until they’re above the knee in front)
2nd: Deadlift, dumbbell hammer curl, and dumbbell shoulder press (1 fluid movement)
3rd: Cable chopper with a step (alternating sides)

60-second break

4th: Step-up with a medicine ball at your chest
5th: Squat with a dumbbell shoulder press
6th: Mountain climbers (30 seconds)

60-second break

7th: Backwards lunge with dumbbell curl
8th: Kneeling dumbbell shoulder raise in front of armpits (thumbs up)
9th: 60-second jump rope, Stairmaster, or bike

60-second break

10th: Step-up and backwards lunge with dumbbells at your side
11th: 1 arm shoulder press on a seat
12th: Mountain climbers with a twist (30 seconds)

60-second break

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Assessment Section

No fitness or personal training program is perfect. Let’s reflect and adapt! Answer the following questions:

• How would you adapt this training program?

• Which back and chest exercises would you swap out?

• How could you make this fitness program more challenging?

• How would you change the order of the exercises?

• Would you include more breaks in between the sets?

• Would you include an even ratio of back and chest exercises instead?

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Bridal Bootcamp Exercise Program: Back/Triceps/Core (30-40 Minutes)

“True physical success begins with observation and reflection.”

— Michael Moody, on redefining your body

Bridal Bootcamp Exercise Program: Back/Triceps/Core (30-40 Minutes)

Time to be your own personal trainer in LoHi! You still need to exercise outside of your personal training sessions, right??? Perform the exercises in this order. Note the descriptions next to each exercise (e.g., position of the bench or cables) and perform 12 reps for every exercise. Also, perform 12 reps on each arm if you’re performing a single arm exercise. Don’t forget to answer the questions in the “Assessment Section” after your workout. Let’s get you ready for your wedding ceremony in Denver, Colorado!

Superset 1

1st: Wide grip pulldown with a slight slant back or Assisted wide grip pull-up machine
2nd: Tricep cable pushdown with a bar
3rd: Plank on your elbows with alternating arm reach (45 seconds)

60-second break

4th: Wide grip pulldown with a slight slant back or Assisted wide grip pull-up machine
5th: Tricep cable pushdown with a curved bar
6th: Plank on your elbows with alternating arm reach and toes on medicine balls (45 seconds)

60-second break

7th: Wide grip pulldown kneeling on a Bosu or sitting on a stability ball or Assisted wide grip pull-up machine
8th: Tricep cable pushdown with a straight bar
9th: Squat and twist with the medicine ball at your chest (45 seconds)

60-second break

10th: 1 arm cable lateral pulldown
11th: 1-arm cable pushdown with a handle
12th: Plank with elbows on the floor and feet on the bench (45 seconds)

60-second break

Be creative when trying to perform a pull-up during your fitness session! / Photo: Jonathan Borba

Superset 2

1st: Wide grip cable row (knee height)
2nd: Tricep dumbbell kickback on the bench
3rd: 60-seconds on the Stairmaster or jump rope

60-second break

4th: Wide grip cable row with squat (hip height)
5th: Tricep dumbbell kickback on the bench with a wrist twist
6th: 60-seconds on the Stairmaster or jump rope

60-second break

7th: Close grip cable row seated on a stability ball (chest height)
8th: Pushup with your feet on the bench
9th: 60-seconds on the Stairmaster or jump rope

60-second break

10th: 1 arm cable bow and arrow (chest height, row with a step back)
11th: Tricep dumbbell kickback on the bench
12th: 60-seconds on the Stairmaster or jump rope

60-second break

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Assessment Section

No fitness or personal training program is perfect. Let’s reflect and adapt! Answer the following questions:

• How would you adapt this training program?

• Which back and chest exercises would you swap out?

• How could you make this fitness program more challenging?

• How would you change the order of the exercises?

• Would you include more breaks in between the sets?

• Would you include an even ratio of back and chest exercises instead?

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Bridal Bootcamp Exercise Program: Chest Presses/Back Rows/Chest Flyes

“Become a human scientist and rediscover your physical self.”

— Michael Moody, on reshaping your body and future

Bridal Bootcamp Exercise Program: Chest Presses/Back Rows/Chest Flyes

Time to be your own personal trainer in LoHi! You still need to exercise outside of your personal training sessions, right??? Perform the exercises in this order. Note the descriptions next to each exercise (e.g., position of the bench or cables) and perform 12 reps for every exercise. Also, perform 12 reps on each arm if you’re performing a single arm exercise. Don’t forget to answer the questions in the “Assessment Section” after your workout. Let’s get you ready for your wedding ceremony in Denver, Colorado!

1st: Dumbbell Chest press on a flat bench
2nd: 2-arm cable back row (close grip handle/facing machine: position cable at chest height and pull your elbows past your sides)
3rd: Cable chest flyes (facing away from machine: position cable at chest height and fly your straight arms in front of the chest)
-Now perform 10 standard pushups before jumping on the Stairmaster for 60 seconds.

60-second break

4th: Dumbbell Chest press on an incline bench
5th: 2-arm cable back row with a squat (wide handle/facing machine: position cable at shoulder height and pull your elbows past your sides)
6th: Cable chest flyes with an alternating lunge (facing away from machine: position cable at shoulder height and fly your straight arms downward…just below the chest)
Now perform 10 pushups with your feet on the bench before jumping on the Stairmaster for 60 seconds.

60-second break

7th: Dumbbell Chest press on a flat bench with elevated feet and knees
8th: 1-arm cable back row (facing machine: position cable at chest height and pull your elbows past your sides)
9th: Cable chest flyes (facing away from machine: position cable at chest height and fly your straight arms in front of the chest)
-Now perform 10 pushups with your right foot on the bench before jumping on the Stairmaster for 60 seconds.

60-second break

10th: 1-arm cable chest press with a lunge
11th: 1-arm cable back row (facing machine: position cable at shoulder height and pull your elbows past your sides)
12th: Cable chest flyes with a squat (facing away from machine: position cable at shoulder height and fly your straight arms downward…just below the chest)
-Now perform 10 pushups with your left foot on the bench before jumping on the Stairmaster for 60 seconds.

60-second break

13th: Dumbbell Chest press on a flat bench
14th: 2-arm cable back row with single leg squat (wide handle/facing machine: position cable at knee height and pull your elbows past your sides)
15th: Dumbbell chest flyes (facing away from machine: position cable at chest height and fly your straight arms in front of the chest)
-Now perform 10 standard pushups before jumping on the Stairmaster for 60 seconds.

Time for a nap!

It might be dry in Denver, but it doesn’t mean you won’t sweat with this fitness program! / Photo: Cottonbro

Assessment Section

No fitness or personal training program is perfect. Let’s reflect and adapt! Answer the following questions:

• How would you adapt this training program?

• Which back and chest exercises would you swap out?

• How could you make this fitness program more challenging?

• How would you change the order of the exercises?

• Would you include more breaks in between the sets?

• Would you include an even ratio of back and chest exercises instead?

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Weight Loss Plan Week 1: A Fresh Start to Optimal Health (and a Flat Waistline)

“Your tiny efforts each day will have a cumulative effect on your optimal health.”

— Michael Moody, regarding your new weight loss plan

STARTING YOUR JOURNEY

For the next four weeks, you'll review several nutrition-focused articles to help you achieve your health goals (always check your spam). They are the essential supplements to Dr. Fuhrman's book End of Dieting! As you read the book, you might say "This guy is nuts....there's no way I can follow this plan!". Remember our main goal: To understand how we can operate optimally. We'll learn what our body truly needs and then we'll determine what we can get away with (our body's sensitivity to different foods). If you're patient and don't mind experimenting with your diet a bit, you'll definitely lose weight and improve your health and the way you feel every day!

When you start the next section of the plan, 1. Read the article and 2. Complete the "Human Scientist Activities" section at the end (if you haven't already). While the homework is never required, it is always expected :) Let's be honest, though, you're an adult, and I can't make you do anything you don't want to. But.......If you've been frustrated with your poor health, or how you feel, then let's figure this out together. Become a human scientist! The more I know about you, the better. Make the next four weeks life-changing! Do the work!

Alright....you're about to be brainwashed slowly.....just give in (your body will thank you!). Here is an introduction to Dr. Fuhrman’s approach. We’ll figure out what you can get away with later!

THE NUTRITARIAN DIET

Achieve sustainable weight loss, optimal health, and enhanced longevity by fueling your body with delicious, high-nutrient foods.

The most essential life skill is to learn how to take the best care of ourselves—nutritionally, physically, and emotionally—and that is what the Nutritarian diet is all about. Joel Fuhrman, M.D., a board-certified family physician with over 25 years of experience practicing nutritional medicine, has created an eating plan that incorporates the latest advances in nutritional science to empower you to reach your ideal weight and reverse chronic diseases, such as heart disease, diabetes, auto-immune diseases, migraines and even early stages of some cancers.

Dr. Fuhrman coined the term “Nutritarian” to describe a diet that is nutrient-dense and plant-rich and includes anti-cancer superfoods, which also facilitate weight loss. These foods supply both the right amount of macronutrients (protein, fat, and carbohydrates) and the vital micronutrients (vitamins, phytochemicals and minerals) that unleash the body’s incredible power to heal itself and slow the aging process, giving the body renewed vitality.

Who doesn’t love a little color on their whole food plant-based plate?? / Photo: Karolina Grabowska

BENEFITS OF THE NUTRITARIAN DIET

-No more calorie counting

-No more feeling hungry between meals

-Eating delicious, satisfying foods that have anti-cancer properties

-Reversing heart disease, diabetes, and most autoimmune diseases

-Detoxifying your body and overcoming food cravings

-Feeling great and enjoying increased energy

The Nutritarian diet uses no gimmicks or fads. There’s no yo-yo dieting. You’ll achieve your ideal weight while maintaining excellent muscle and bone mass for the rest of your life. This will pay incredible dividends in your life, and in the lives of those you love.

REVERSE DISEASE

Harness your body’s tremendous power to heal itself through proper nutrition. You don’t have to live with a debilitating, chronic disease—the Nutritarian diet allows you to take control of your health destiny through superior nutrition. You’ll eat a nutrient-dense, plant-rich diet of vegetables, fruit, beans, nuts, and seeds, with the option of including a small amount of animal products.

DESIGNED TO HEAL

The Nutritarian diet is designed to help you reach your ideal weight as your body heals. And, as your body and palate adjust to the Nutritarian eating style, you’ll lose your cravings for unhealthy and disease-promoting foods such as sugar, salt, white flour, oil and processed foods.

By following the Nutritarian eating style, you will:

-Feel your energy levels soar as you detox from unhealthful, addictive foods
-Reverse high blood pressure, high cholesterol, headaches, indigestion, acne, asthma and chronic fatigue syndrome
-Protect yourself against heart disease, stroke, dementia, osteoporosis and cancer
-Don’t assume that excellent health and ideal weight are the result of genetics or luck. The reality is that our health is largely tied to our dietary choices. The Nutritarian diet can help you achieve optimal health.

Refilling your plant-based baskets with a new plan!! // Photo by Sarah Chai

LOSE BODY FAT

Achieve sustainable body fat loss while enjoying delicious and nourishing foods. Conventional diets force you to count calories and live in a constant state of deprivation. That’s why the Nutritarian diet is a game-changer: it’s the only diet designed to help you lose weight as you eat larger quantities of nutrient-dense, plant-rich (and delicious) foods. You’ll not only feel satisfied – you’ll also feel more invigorated as the weight drops off, your overall health improves and your energy levels increase.

YOUR JOURNEY BEGINS HERE

Based on the latest scientific literature, and his own experience helping thousands of people successfully recover their health and transform their lives, Dr. Fuhrman designed this program which:

-Does not involve any calorie counting
-Does not require consuming a completely vegan or vegetarian diet.
-Is instrumental in reversing many chronic health problems
-Provides the key to overcoming food addiction
-Puts an end to “yo-yo” dieting and the health dangers that go along with it
-Outlines a diet plan with foods that you will come to prefer
-Helps you feel and look younger
-Helps protect against certain types of cancer
-May add healthy years to your life

When you follow the Nutritarian diet, you can eat until you feel satisfied and, over time, your appetite for empty-calorie foods will decrease. You’ll feel great and give your body the tools it needs to fight and reverse chronic disease.

A little garlic will heightened your culinary experience. / Photo: Karolina Grabowska

ACTIVITY SECTION

It's time to focus on the trends and patterns of you! With this being said, I need a little data:

1. Journal: Please complete 3 days of a food journal. Write down what you specifically ate with the time and general amounts (no calories). Be honest-I won't judge! I want to help you find the right substitutes or modify wherever needed.

2. Goals: To increase accountability, I'm asking you to email 3 specific goals. Always keep last month's goals in mind. Did you reach your goals? Why or why not? What would you have done differently? Were the goals realistic?

Please take two minutes to respond to this-it will guide your programs and behaviors for the next 4 weeks. The more specific, the better. The greater focus for you, the more likely you'll reach your larger goals.

Dietary Goal:
IE: 1 soda per week, 4 glasses of wine per week, 1 cheat meal per week, 50% veggies with every meal

Fitness Goal:
IE: 4 days of exercise, walk 12,000 steps per day, perform a perfect lunge, perform a pullup

Life Goal:
IE: Don't work over the weekend, Take a breath whenever I'm stressed, Spend more time with my spouse

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