Have you ever thought about the mix messages that you’re sending your partner during a conversation? Your nonverbal gestures could be sending a message you didn’t intend. Make these 3 simple changes and redefine the way you communicate in a romantic relationship.
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Have you ever been in an argument while keeping your hands folded in front of you? Probably not. If you’re like most people, you become animated when upset: Arms flailing, convulsive head ticks, and a blend of sitting, standing, and fidgeting. Does this reaction typically help the situation? The answer is never yes.
Whether you intend to or not, your reaction probably makes your partner feel defensive (which could filter the message you’re trying to communicate). The biggest threat: Your hands! During your next conversation with your partner, move your arms and watch his eyes follow your hands. He’s worried about your hands and what they’ll do next (something to compromise his safety???)! It’s a protective instinct (like a warrior), and it places him in a defensive mode (even if it’s only unconscious).
Even if your nonverbal gestures aren’t an interpretative dance of the devil, placing your hands on your hips or folding your arms might reflect discontent, anger, disgust, and boredom, too. If this is your intent, shame on you and save the show for the stage. Most likely, though, you’re doing this unconsciously and don’t realize the effect of your nonverbal gestures.
Perform a check-in during your conversations. Ask yourself: What message are you sending with your physical position or reactions? You can offer your attention without expressing confrontational mannerisms. Try sitting with your hands folded in front of you (shows patience and attentive listening) or standing with your arms on your side (a non-combative stance). Communication in a relationship requires trust and security. Don’t undermine this safe zone and muddle your message with nonverbal gestures you didn’t intend.
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Similar to the placement of your hands and arms, your hips could tell a very different nonverbal story. When you turn your body away from your partner, you could be signaling that you’re about to run away (which could be true) or about to fight her in a martial arts match. Most importantly, you’re not showing your vulnerability with the display of your full torso (think opening yourself to someone instead of closing yourself off). Make your partner believe that she’s safe during this conversation and that you’re fully interested in what she says. Keep your hips parallel to her hips and square your shoulders in an upright position.
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Nothing shows more respect to another human being (and dog) than looking at them in the eyes during a conversation. It’s another sign of attentiveness and respect. Most people find this nonverbal gesture the most challenging because they feel inferior or intimidated by the other person. I often find myself looking away to find a thought (as if I could picture the word I’m grasping for in my mind). Your reason may not be out of disrespect to the other person either. Nevertheless, it is the most regarded in any personal or professional setting. Your eye contact says, “I respect you…I’m listening to you”….a very important nonverbal message when building intimacy in any relationship. Practice and stop overthinking.
Photo Credit:
Alberto Bogo – Is your body conveying a different message to your partner?
Article Credit:
Author: Michael Moody Fitness
3 Nonverbal Gestures that Will Change Your Romantic Relationship Forever
Keep your hands folded in front or your arms on your side
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Have you ever been in an argument while keeping your hands folded in front of you? Probably not. If you’re like most people, you become animated when upset: Arms flailing, convulsive head ticks, and a blend of sitting, standing, and fidgeting. Does this reaction typically help the situation? The answer is never yes.
Whether you intend to or not, your reaction probably makes your partner feel defensive (which could filter the message you’re trying to communicate). The biggest threat: Your hands! During your next conversation with your partner, move your arms and watch his eyes follow your hands. He’s worried about your hands and what they’ll do next (something to compromise his safety???)! It’s a protective instinct (like a warrior), and it places him in a defensive mode (even if it’s only unconscious).
Even if your nonverbal gestures aren’t an interpretative dance of the devil, placing your hands on your hips or folding your arms might reflect discontent, anger, disgust, and boredom, too. If this is your intent, shame on you and save the show for the stage. Most likely, though, you’re doing this unconsciously and don’t realize the effect of your nonverbal gestures.
Perform a check-in during your conversations. Ask yourself: What message are you sending with your physical position or reactions? You can offer your attention without expressing confrontational mannerisms. Try sitting with your hands folded in front of you (shows patience and attentive listening) or standing with your arms on your side (a non-combative stance). Communication in a relationship requires trust and security. Don’t undermine this safe zone and muddle your message with nonverbal gestures you didn’t intend.
Face your partner with your shoulders squared
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Similar to the placement of your hands and arms, your hips could tell a very different nonverbal story. When you turn your body away from your partner, you could be signaling that you’re about to run away (which could be true) or about to fight her in a martial arts match. Most importantly, you’re not showing your vulnerability with the display of your full torso (think opening yourself to someone instead of closing yourself off). Make your partner believe that she’s safe during this conversation and that you’re fully interested in what she says. Keep your hips parallel to her hips and square your shoulders in an upright position.
Look your partner in the eyes while speaking and listening (assuming you listen :) )
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Nothing shows more respect to another human being (and dog) than looking at them in the eyes during a conversation. It’s another sign of attentiveness and respect. Most people find this nonverbal gesture the most challenging because they feel inferior or intimidated by the other person. I often find myself looking away to find a thought (as if I could picture the word I’m grasping for in my mind). Your reason may not be out of disrespect to the other person either. Nevertheless, it is the most regarded in any personal or professional setting. Your eye contact says, “I respect you…I’m listening to you”….a very important nonverbal message when building intimacy in any relationship. Practice and stop overthinking.
Photo Credit:
Alberto Bogo – Is your body conveying a different message to your partner?
Article Credit:
Author: Michael Moody Fitness
3 Nonverbal Gestures that Will Change Your Romantic Relationship Forever